WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP EMOTIONAL EATING?

In honor of Emotional Overeating Awareness Month, it is valuable to review the following article. April is a fantastic time to think about your own eating patterns. Emotional eating is a lifestyle for many and causes weight gain, frustration, guilt and shame. We may be soothing painful feelings or mindlessly snacking and we become disconnected from physical hunger.

You can manage your stress in other ways -- take a walk, talk with a friend or take a warm bath for example. You must consider your total wellbeing. If you think self-destructive thoughts about your appearance then you are likely enter a loop of negative thinking leading to negative behaviors, increased weight and worries, deprivation, guilt, shame and fear. This can lead to depression, increased anxiety and eventual apathy. You may submerge yourself in unhealthy food to shield yourself from these painful feelings because you know from experience that these substances will reliably provide a few minutes of relief.

You are eating for emotional, not physical, reasons and you set yourself up to fail at meeting your goals. Once you accept yourself and become gentle with yourself, you will make progress toward reaching your ideal weight, vibrant health and balance. Each of you must figure out precisely your own ways to soothe yourself during difficult times. Pause, breathe and substitute positive thoughts to turn your negative thinking around.

Pay close attention to your feelings. As I describe in great detail in my latest book, The Appetite Connection, they represent your internal guidance system (which is never wrong). When you identify what you are feeling you will know what to do. If you make yourself number one and heed the messages your feelings are delivering through this system you will move closer to your goals.

This is your life and your body and emotional eating will never bring you the happiness that you deserve. To be happy, healthy and whole is up to you and the time is NOW!

many blessings! Dr. Denise

Overcoming Emotional Eating

In order to overcome emotional eating you first have to understand what it is.

Emotional overeating is primarily eating to mask difficult feelings. When we experience any unpleasant emotion, we may be tempted to reach for our “sugar/simple-carbohydrate” fix (By simple carbohydrates I mean white flour, refined products, not fruits, whole grains or vegetables.) We also may be emotionally eating for at any time and for any reason, whether we are feeling anything or not aware of feeling anything in particular. We may be soothing our boredom or mindlessly snacking through the day. For many of us feeding ourselves becomes disconnected from physical hunger and at times we may not know any other ways to take care of ourselves.

These are stressful time and we all manifest our stress differently at different times. Some of us tend to hold it inside. Others explode in angry rages. Our responses may differ but when we are stressed, our bodies produce excess cortisol and cortisol is a hormone that increases appetite. This is important to know because sometimes if you realize you are extra hungry and you are feeling stressed, you will know that it is in large part due to the cortisol flooding into your system and you may choose to do something to manage your stress other that eating to soothe yourself. You could go for a walk, talk with a friend or take a warm bath for example.

In summary, to be your very best, naturally healthy, vibrant, beautiful self and to stop eating for emotional reasons, you must consider your total wellbeing. It is no longer possible for you to think in terms of calories in/calories out as your guide. It is more complicated than that and yet it is paradoxically simple as well.

If you think self-destructive thoughts such as “I really am fat. I need to lose these ugly pounds” you will feel bad and you will attract more” bad feeling” thoughts. Then you are likely to get stuck in a loop of negative thinking leading to negative behaviors, extra pounds, increased worries, stronger efforts to diet, more deprivation, discouragement, guilt, shame and fear of gaining more and more weight. This can lead to depression, increased anxiety and eventual apathy. You are likely then to submerge yourself in sugar and simple carbohydrates to shield yourself from these painful feelings for the few moments, hours or days of relief that you know these substances can and reliably will provide.

Once done with this cycle, you regroup and plan your next strategy for losing those pounds that you are sick and tired of hauling around. Perhaps this time a new diet has captured your attention or you saw a new exercise machine advertised that is guaranteed to melt your pounds away effortlessly and at warp speed. You enthusiastically embrace your new course of action. You are hopeful and optimistic. You pray that this time you have hit upon exactly the right method to achieve the weight loss results you have so desperately been searching for.

Your newly designed plan my work for a while but unless you make friends with yourself and attend to your emotional needs you will find yourself soon stuck in the same loop you so recently broke out of. You are likely to feel more frustrated, discouraged and depressed than before.

You can recognize emotional eating and hopefully are making friends with yourself more and more every day. You are now aware of how you may be setting yourself up to fail by expecting yourself to behave perfectly at all times. By now you can see that this has not gotten you anywhere that you want to go. These impossible, self-imposed ideals of appearance and behavior have kept you from relaxing and enjoying your life. You have been trying too hard to accomplish your impossible goals. It is time now to stop, to relax and to really give yourself what you truly want and desire.

Once you accept who you are and become gentle and non-judgmental with yourself, you will swiftly make progress toward to ideal weight, vibrant health and balance you want so badly. Each of you must figure out precisely your own plan to soothe yourself during difficult times. You can take advantage of the Bach emotional eating support kit which contains three powerful remedies to help you learn to appreciate your body (Crab Apple), remain in control of your eating (Cherry Plum) and to stop repeating your same overeating mistakes over and over again (Chestnut Bud). For more information about this extremely helpful resource, visit http://www.emotionaleatinghelp.org/ .

Pause, breathe and substitute a positive thought to turn around your negative thinking. Gradually you will find that your thoughts will become directed towards positive, grateful places and your life will become more positive in the process. As you courageously shift your perspective in this way, you move quickly towards the life of radiant health and balance that you have longed for.

It is vital to pay close attention to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings represent your internal guidance system (which is never wrong). When you identify what you are feeling will know what to do every minute. Your guidance will come from within you instead of outside of yourself. Your internal guidance system will never steer you in a wrong direction. If you make yourself number one and heed the messages your feelings are delivering through this system (as consistently as possible, you will move closer and closer to meeting your goals.

Remember that this is your life and your body to do with as you wish. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, thinking about or telling you. Emotionally eating and keeping yourself murky and drugged with unhealthy foods will never bring you the happiness that you deserve. To be happy, healthy and whole is up to you and the time is NOW!

Emotional Eating and World Turmoil

What does emotional overeating have to do with turmoil in our world? Answer: a lot!

Most of us have instant replays in our mind and hearts when we hear words like “9/11”, tsunami, Katrina, Iraq, earthquakes, fires and floods. When our ears hear the words and our eyes view the pictures, our whole being reacts. Emotions instantly surface and we may flood with an array of feelings. We may feel frightened for others as well as for ourselves -- unsafe, helpless, furious, overwhelmed, or sad, to name just a few possible reactions. We may feel relieved that we have survived and at the same time feel guilty that we have survived while others have not. We may become depressed and anxious and not understand why.

As human beings we act and react. Part of us may try to actively suppress or deny our uncomfortable feelings while another part of us may be reacting to the news by grieving or feeling angry. There is no one right way to react or to feel. When we are experiencing intense emotions, some that we understand and some that we may not understand, the end result is that we are in distress. Hearing of and witnessing the suffering of others causes stress and we may turn to unhealthy, old patterns in search of relief. We may seek food for comfort. Millions of us do!

This is a natural reaction, so please don’t beat yourself up if you have indulged in a few extra snacks lately. There is plenty of distressing news coming at you via the airwaves. We learn at a tender age that sugars and carbohydrates will take away our pain. These substances mask themselves as our friends. They urge us to take care of our uncomfortable feelings by stuffing our bellies with creamy pastas, pastries and chocolate. The hard part is that they deliver what they promise. These foods help us in the short term to stuff our feelings deep inside where we don’t have to deal with them.

When the effects of our “anesthetics” wear off, our physical bodies scream for MORE and our emotional selves (which haven’t yet recognized and experienced our emotions) join the chorus and demand more “treats” to continue keeping feelings at bay. Some of us may seek alcohol, sex, gambling or drugs to avoid the complex emotions of everyday life. We Chew Tamer’s may be more likely to prowl the bakery aisle at the grocery store or to use any combination of escape mechanisms.

Remember, your feelings exist for a reason. Each feeling is telling you something. Each is bringing you valuable information about what’s going on around and within you. Listen. Experience your feelings and let yourself feel every high and low that life brings your way. No one ever said that life meant experiencing only pleasant emotions. In fact, we need the difficult ones to appreciate the joyous ones.

If you do choose (and it is a choice, though it may not feel like one at the time) to soothe yourself with food, please don’t beat yourself up when you are done. That NEVER helps! None of us can walk our paths perfectly at all times. We are all human and we all make less than self-loving choices at times. Move beyond the urge to punish yourself. Recall that there are no mistakes, only lessons. Be as gentle as possible with yourself first. Then do what you realistically can to help others. Listen to them. Pray with them. Share hugs, warm smiles, resources and words of encouragement. These are the greatest gifts.

And remind yourself that life flies by. It is a blink of time. Amidst the stress and turmoil, tap into the peace and quiet strength within yourself. Bypass unhealthy choices as often as you can and don’t beat yourself if occasionally you can’t.

Most importantly, appreciate each moment of this exciting, emotional, and sometimes turbulent journey!

Be well…
Dr. Denise, Emotional Eating Expert

Connecting with our pets

To stop emotional overeating, we need to nurture our spirits. For many of us one avenue to rediscovering our creative spirits is through connection with our pets. You may be wondering what animals have to do with stopping emotional overeating? Plenty! As mentioned earlier, anyone with food control issues will most likely also experience low self-esteem, elevated stress levels, physical and emotional problems, inactivity and fatigue, low self-confidence and social isolation. So, I cannot resist including a few words on the therapeutic effects of our little furry or feathered friends. Research has shown that living with and caring for animals helps remedy all of the above conditions. About twenty-five years ago professionals began using animals to help patients with physical and psychological problems and over time the field of study has expanded. It is now well accepted that our animal friends provide us with numerous benefits. Being with them is not only good for us but perhaps necessary for optimal health and happiness.

Many kinds of animals have helped humans in ways we are only beginning to understand and appreciate. There is evidence that people with pets are healthier, less prone to hypertension and heart disease, have lower blood pressure, less anxiety, and manage their stress more effectively. They are more active, social, connected and responsible, and have higher levels of self-esteem. Pets give unconditional love and help us to focus outside of ourselves. There is no doubt that animals of many species can help us correct imbalances in our bodily systems and ultimately to heal eating difficulties.

Blood pressure is lowered when we watch fish swim lazily in an aquarium, or when we talk with our bird, hamster, ferret, goat or turtle companion. Petting an animal can have the same effect -- be it a dog, cat, guinea pig, or horse. Pets also provide a sympathetic ear and we can confide our most secret thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged or exposed. This is most therapeutic! An animal provides a channel for communication and we can express our feelings through verbal and physical interactions with our trusted pets. They provide a willing ear and are a source of unconditional love and companionship.

When our needs for connection are unfulfilled, we may fill the void with unhealthy food choices. In some situations a pet just might help -- not for everyone perhaps but for some of us. Please visit www.deniselamothe.com/Sapphi.htm to meet my little fuzzy friend.

Chewlett to the Rescue

Life is stressful and it is vital that we nurture our relationships and talk with family and friends whenever we can. Being able to vent our frustrations or share our triumphs with someone who cares about us helps us feel connected. It may be difficult to attend to our need for connection at times. Here is an idea that many have found helpful:

I would like to introduce you to a fuzzy little friend who can help you to thrive during the holiday season, or any time you need to talk to a buddy – The Chewlett. I find that when folks are stressed, lonely, tired, sad, etc. they are often tempted to race for a fix of sugars and carbohydrates to calm themselves down and take the edge off their feelings. They can reach for their Chewlett instead and tell their little friend what’s eating them. The Chewlett makes them smile and is happy to ride in a pocket or purse, sit on a desk or dashboard and remind any of us to take care of ourselves and make self-loving choices. The Chewlett is happy to go anywhere and we can count on our little buddy to listen to us anytime we need to talk.

I am frequently asked for tips on how to avoid self-abusive self-abuse bingeing. Here are a couple of ideas to help you through:

Besides chatting with your friends, family members or Chewlett, reserve time each day just for yourself. Along with the hustle and bustle of life come many tasks that compete for your time and attention. See if you can delegate some of your responsibilities to others.

We may find ourselves rushing around taking care of everyone and everything but ourselves. We each need to find ways to create private, quiet, relaxing time for ourselves. If we don’t, we will become overtired, overwhelmed and consequently likely to over-feed ourselves as a way to cope with stress.

If we set aside moments here and there to nurture ourselves, we are far more likely to take care of ourselves in healthy ways all year long. And, when we take the very best care of ourselves, we are better equipped to attend to the needs of those around us. We are more relaxed, more balanced and more energetic. Life can be more fun and less like an exhausting marathon.

So please slow down and enjoy this wonderful springtime of the year. Do only what you truly want to do and decline needless chores, chaos and calories. Make this the best season ever by taking the very best care of yourself. Keep yourself number one. You’re worth it! I wish you and your loved ones many, many blessings!