Incorporating Meditation

To me, being spiritual means staying in touch with my spirit. I know deep within that I have a powerful connection to something beautiful, loving and giving. I am loved and I know that when I feel connected to my source, my God. When I am not feeling connected, life has a way of overtaking me. I get wrapped up in all the external matters of day to day living and forget my powerful helper, my spirit.

When I feel alone and unloved, I punish myself. I get overcome with sadness and want to collapse and sleep away precious days. When I reconnect with my source I feel loved. I no longer feel lonely and can approach each moment of my day with curiosity, appreciation and enthusiasm. For me, meditation is something that I resist at times but also something that is essential for my wellbeing.

If I allot twenty minutes in the morning to ask my higher power to help me treat myself and all those around me with gentle compassion and love, my day is entirely different from the days when I neglect my time of connection with the spiritual energy all around me, and inside me.

Early this morning, for example, I awoke lying in bed with my head stuffed full of worries. The more I tried to quiet my mind, the more negative chatter I experienced. I felt tired, lonely, and unlovable. I didn’t want to lie there feeling so badly and I didn’t want to get up and face another day of responsibilities and stress either. In years past I might have turned to food for solace (no, not I might have, I would have). I would definately have engaged in emotional overeating. I’d have chosen muffins, or doughnuts or tortillas with butter and jam. These reliable friends would unfailingly be there to calm my frazzled nerves and soothe my aching heart. Now I know better and you do also. We know these foods will only make whatever we are feeling bad about, feel worse in the long run. So I put my feet onto the floor and forced myself out of my warm, cozy covers.

For me, meditation provides a better alternative to the sugars and carbohydrates of bygone days. Taking twenty minutes to sit quietly and comfortably with eyes closed, focusing on my breathing – deeply at first - then slowly, quietly and peacefully as I continue both centers and calms me. I choose a word such as peace or love to repeat over and over with each breath to help my mind clear itself of some of the rumbling negative chatter. I pray sometimes and ask God to help me through the day, and when I do this I feel a shift inside of myself. I no longer feel alone, discouraged or bombarded with negative thoughts. When I open my eyes my energy is different and I feel ready for the wonders of the day ahead – not exhausted and apprehensive as I once did.

Now, this is what works for me. Yes, there are days when I am unable to enter a meditative state and those days are more difficult. When that happens I do my best to take care of myself (with varying degrees of success). I count my blessings, take deep breaths whenever I think of it and engage in activities and conversations that are pleasant and positive.

It is always my choice how I approach my day. I can drag myself out of bed and unconsciously perform the routine duties before me. I can plod mindlessly along like a robot and, for me, this assures I will struggle and things will seem more overwhelming and stressful than they need to be.

The alternative is to approach each day as a new start and spend those quiet few minutes in the morning connecting with myself, my spirit, to remind myself of my many blessings and to ask God to help me live this day fully, appreciating all I have and making the most of each moment. The difference is like night and day.

An unconscious, disconnected day is likely to be filled with negative experiences and emotions, many of which will scream to be soothed with food. We have all learned through experience that our old friend food will never fail to soothe and satisfy us in the short term.

A conscious, connected day is entirely different. Those valuable few meditative moments can mean the difference between feeling frustrated, exhausted and depressed or feeling peaceful, joyful and optimistic. It is always your choice (although it may not always feel that way). Making the choices that you know are in your own best interest is not always easy. If you are feeling badly about yourself, guilty or ashamed for example, the last thing you will want to do is treat yourself lovingly. You are much more likely to want to punish yourself with yet another day of unhealthy food and frustration. Perhaps a few minutes of quiet concious breathing will help you turn things around.

Don't put yourself down! It NEVER helps!

Never berate yourself for overeating: that will only lead you to more indulgence. You know that dieting and depriving yourself does not work. Scolding yourself is always counterproductive. Comparing yourself to others is never useful. The only way to truly feel better is to learn to relax, to nurture yourself and to appreciate the wonderful person that you are. Following are a few suggestions to help as you forge your path in a more positive direction. These are in addition to paying attention to your physical needs.

Live your life as mindfully as possible. I suggest you read some of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books such as Peace is Every Step or Being Peace. These will teach you ways to value the present moment. Staying in the present instead of worrying about the past or what may or may not happen in the future will help you maintain balance in your day. No matter how hectic your schedule, carve out time for yourself every day to attend to your personal needs. Don’t just use left over time to nurture yourself. If you do, there will never be a spare moment to take a bubble bath, read a book or write in your journal. Make yourself the #1 priority. This is not just something nice to do. It is an essential, central part of overcoming overeating.

Develop a specific time to nourish your spirit. Make your own sacred routine. We each have different needs. You can experiment to find ways to satisfy some of yours. Try taking a class in Yoga or Tai Chi. Learn to meditate and enjoy feeling peaceful and relaxed. (Herbert Benson’s book, The Relaxation Response is an excellent guide to meditation techniques. He will teach you how to breathe deeply and sit within the stillness.) Pray. Spend time outside. Notice things around you. Look at the stars at night -- feel the warmth of the sun during the day. Explore things that interest you.

Treat yourself like the goddess you are. Think of things you like to do and do them! Restore your spirit. Schedule relaxing massages. Manicures, pedicures or facials are fantastic. Write in your journal. Dance. Sing. Treat yourself to a movie, a play, a walk on the beach or to a fine dining experience. Use your creative talents. Draw, sew, knit or paint. Try modeling with clay or writing a poem. No one can tell you what is best for you. Our needs are individual and very personal. One woman’s relaxation is another’s stress -- play with different ideas and you will discover ways to soothe your emotions and refresh your spirit.

This will help you feel better without choosing emotional overeating.... I promise!