Connect with Yourself at Holiday Time

It may be the season to be jolly but for many it is a difficult and frightening time. It is that time of year when social occasions abound and we are faced with so many food choices it can be overwhelming. Navigating your way through the holiday festivities is a challenge to be sure!

Have you ever really paid attention to how focused our culture is on food? Virtually every occasion we experience has food as a central theme.

Think of Thanksgiving without turkey and pumpkin pie or Easter without candy eggs. How about Valentine’s Day with no chocolate, birthdays or weddings with no cake or even meetings without refreshment breaks? How often do we get together with friends without including food? We ask people to meet us for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner. We invite them over for coffee or a drink. When was the last time someone asked you to get together just to spend time enjoying each other’s company? Food is everywhere and a part of nearly every occasion.

How can we take care of ourselves in this food-oriented culture? How can we socialize with friends, celebrate holidays and birthdays, go to fine restaurants and relax about it? How can we manage to enjoy ourselves, eat only some of what is offered and feel satisfied? How can we survive this constant exposure to food? If we eat too much, the result is anxiety and we will want to eat to medicate this feeling. If we eat too little, we feel deprived and set ourselves up to binge later. If we have weight to lose, we feel anxious about that and if we have lost the weight we wanted to lose, we feel anxious that we will gain it back. (Many people report that they find it much harder to maintain weight loss than to lose the weight in the first place.) So we eat because we have not lost weight and we eat because we have lost weight. What a dilemma! At either end of the scale, anxiety lurks and if we don’t know healthy ways to cope with the anxiety, we eat.

It is impossible to be harmonious, balanced and content all the time in social situations or in life in general. If we feel too successful or unsuccessful, for example, we find ourselves off balance and anxious. Anytime things are a little too “good” or a little too “bad” we find ourselves racing to the refrigerator in search of something to help us find emotional balance. We mistakenly think food can provide this for us. It cannot. Only we have the power to cope with our own difficult feelings as we negotiate our way along our own life’s path.

All this can be very confusing and discouraging. Whatever holidays you may celebrate, remember to keep your needs in the foreground and to nurture yourself. Even in settings where opportunities to sabotage yourself abound and your “Chew” is screaming for “treats,” you do not have to feel helpless and victimized. Give yourself time before you go out to sit, close your eyes, listen to your internal guidance system, connect with your appetite and breathe. Think through the event and decide how you will approach it. Be mindful once you arrive and make as many self-loving, conscious choices as you can. Enjoy whatever you do choose to eat and never, under any circumstances, beat yourself up. Remind yourself that you are in charge of you – not your “Chew” and remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. So try to relax and be gentle with yourself. The more you nurture yourself in other ways, breathe and remind yourself that you have conscious choices to make every moment, the less important food will become.

warmly,

Dr. Denise

Robotic Eating and Weight Gain

This little figure on the left is simply called "Appetite". (You will learn much more about her/him in my latest book, The Appetite Connection.)

In both The Taming of the Chew: A Holistic Guide to Stopping Compulsive Eating and The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and the Body You Long For, I discuss habitual eating…. Or robotic eating. It is helpful to understand what this behavior is, how it is connected to your Appetite and how to move on.

Most of us eat “robotically” at times. Sometimes we eat and don’t even realize we are eating – the biting, chewing and swallowing have become automatic. When we perform any behavior for a period of time, it becomes automatic. It is performed without conscious thought. Remember the first time you drove? You’d studied the traffic laws and watched the films in class. The first time you got behind the wheel and the instructor told you to start the car, you had to think of each detail. You had to pay close attention. You thought about putting the key into the ignition, placing your left foot on the clutch and your right one on the brake or gas, shifting into the appropriate gear, and then turning the key to the right. It felt strange and unfamiliar. It did not take long, however, for these behaviors to become automatic. Today, you most likely hop into your car and go without giving any of these details a conscious thought. You know how to drive. The motions have become automatic. Your subconscious is fully aware, however, to ensure you succeed at starting the car. And of course you must still be extremely conscious of being on the road and of other vehicles.

The same phenomenon takes place with our eating behavior and at a much younger age. As infants we cry for many reasons – perhaps we have an uncomfortable, wet diaper or a pain somewhere in our little body. We can’t speak to tell our caretakers what is wrong and they often respond to our cries by putting a bottle or breast into our mouths. So we learn through this that crying brings us oral gratification. We quickly learn to associate food with comfort. We don’t even have to think about it. It is automatic. We feel “bad,” we reach for food. We experience discomfort of any kind, we eat.

As adults, if we feel “better” eating chocolate when we are upset about something, it doesn’t take long for eating chocolate to become an automatic response when we want to feel better – and who doesn’t frequently have times when they want to feel better? If we begin to eat snacks at night in front of our television sets, again, it can quickly become a thoughtless habit. Many women eat automatically when preparing meals for their families. They “taste” as they prepare supper and when the actual meal is ready, have already eaten more than enough. They then sit down with their family members and eat the full supper they have prepared for everybody else. The “before dinner food” was eaten automatically and barely noticed. They don’t realize they have eaten the equivalent of two or three dinners and are truly surprised when the scale reflects their actions.

Another common situation in which people eat without consciousness is while driving. People who spend a lot of time on the road often find, if and when they notice, that they have been eating and eating and eating as they have been driving along. The snacking has become so automatic that it is virtually unnoticed. For most of us, food is readily accessible and easy to grab, especially fast foods and junk foods. Unhealthy food behaviors are easy to develop and impossible to change unless we are aware of them. How often do you “automatically” stop by the candy machine at work? How often do you eat and later feel surprised to notice you had eaten so much? How often do you engage in conversation with a dinner partner and finish your meal without having been aware of your food or the experience of eating? What are some of your patterns of automatic eating? Possibly you have been eating a great deal of food in this “robotic” way, barely noticing that you have been putting it into your mouth. Be assured, however, that although you may not be noticing what you are doing, your body is noticing, the calories are adding up, and the numbers on the scale are continuing to rise.

Sit down and think about times you may be engaging in robotic behavior. and write down any automatic eating that you have become aware of. Next, make a plan to change one behavior. For example, if you realize that you have been munching while preparing dinner, make a choice to sip a large glass of lemon and water as you cook instead. In this way, you eliminate a behavior that is hazardous while substituting a healthy one. If you discover that you snack frequently while driving, choose not to bring food into your car anymore. Try this exercise often to see how many changes you can think of to make over time. Then make a plan to change them one at a time – gradually and slowly.

Another way to bring robotic eating into conscious awareness is to write down everything you eat during a one week period. Keeping a diary like this for a brief period can help you bring unconscious eating behavior into your conscious mind. A word of caution is necessary here. Do not keep a food diary longer than a few weeks. If you do, you may become more rigid and focused on food. You may find yourself more obsessed with your diet than ever. This is counterproductive, so use your diary briefly and once you become aware of ways you have been using food automatically, you can make different choices. Then you will understand your Appetite and you will be in control.

For those of you in the north east, my new book, The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and the Body You Long For will be launched on October 18th at 7 PM at Water Street Books in Exeter, NH. We will have a short talk, refreshments, a signing and lots of fun. Please join me there if you can make it! I would love to see you!

Postponing a Binge

Eating issues are frustrating to say the least! There are times they won’t be too important and other times when they feel overwhelming. Please understand, this is not unique to you. Most people struggle from time to time. Sometimes the urge to binge will be strong and those cookies will be calling your name. You may or you may not choose to grab a handful!

Whatever you choose, the idea is to break the pattern of mindless eating. Give yourself time to breathe. Be creative. Relax, exercise, have fun and then re-evaluate your need to binge. You will often find that you feel good about yourself for making this effort and the powerful urge to eat has subsided. At other times you will still feel the urge to eat but it may not be quite as strong and you may be able to resist it. As suggested in The Taming of the Chew, make a list of alternative behaviors and choose one to engage you as a way of moving away from the urge to eat. If you still feel like binging after 15 or 20 minutes doing something else, you can always continue the activity you were doing or choose another activity from your list to further postpone a binge. Usually at that point you will feel in control and the urges will have subsided.

If not, however, and you choose to eat, please take a minute to decide what you will have. Choose your behavior and make a plan to take care of yourself in the aftermath. Remember, no matter what, do not punish yourself for choosing to take care of yourself with food this one time. At other times you can and will choose different ways to behave. No one is perfect and we all make less than self-loving choices at times. Occasionally your Chew is bound to win. This is true for all of us and it’s OK!

Please remember to join me on Facebook!

Have a fabulous day! Dr. Denise

Laughter Helps

When was the last time you really laughed? Really had fun??


We live in a high-tech, fast-paced, high-tension world and we become like pressure cookers holding in emotion. If we do not release our feelings somehow, we build tension in our bodies and then race to the refrigerator for relief. You may notice that when you are feeling out of control around food it is because you are tense in some way. It is not when you feel relaxed and happy that you pounce on your food and cram it forcefully into your mouth. It is when you are looking for something to “take the edge off,” to help you cope with certain feelings or situations. Incorporating more opportunities for laughter and fun into your life can help you to develop a more positive attitude about life in general. This will help you to stay in control of your behavior more often and to cope more effectively with difficulties as they arise.

Sometimes we take life too seriously. Even a minor annoyance can assume huge proportions. It is helpful at times to back up, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “How important is this?” We may spend our day fretting and fuming over our negative circumstances and we totally miss the joy and beauty available in the present. You are the only one who suffers when you put your precious energy into harboring negative feelings about someone else. The other person is probably having a fine day and spending very little time concerned about how you are doing or feeling. If you allow negative thoughts about someone to ruin your day, you are giving that person your power. You give up the right to enjoy yourself and your life and you find yourself stewing about things in the past that you have absolutely no control over.

Be happy today! Find things to smile about and plan something fun to do! When you focus on the joyful aspects of each individual and situation, things change. You feel lighter, emotional eating will dramatically decrease and food recedes into the background. Try it and enjoy summer.

Also...just in from BBC, Australia! Listen today to this exciting podcast I produced with Victoria Hansen, Black Book Cooking. It is the first in a four part series covering vital aspects of The Taming of the Chew.
Podcast available now.

And remember to join me on Facebook today http://www.Facebook.com/drdeniselamothe. I would love to connect!

Back to the Present -

We spend most of our time living in either the past or the future. We are either thinking about what we have already done, perhaps with regret, or we are spinning off into the future, perhaps overwhelming ourselves. This may be human nature but it is not helpful to us when we are trying to let go of unhealthy habits and change our approach to life in general and to emotional eating and food control behaviors in particular.
If we allow ourselves to focus on the past, we are setting ourselves up for trouble. It is tempting to obsess about mistakes we have made and things that have gone wrong. Seldom do we concentrate on all the things we have done right or that have gone well. This is one of the many tricks of our Chew. Keeping ourselves stuck in the past ruminating about things we cannot change is futile. It is a waste of our energy and keeps us in a negative frame of mind. You can think about the whole package of Girl Scout cookies you ate until the cows come home but it won’t change the fact that the cookies are gone. There is nothing you can do now about a choice you made last night. Continuing to beat yourself up about it only makes matters worse. This is a time to remind yourself to come into the present. Let the thoughts of cookies go and think instead about what you want for yourself in the present moment. How do you want to behave right now? How can you take the best care of yourself and get your needs met in the moment? Tell your Chew that you are not listening and to “stop!” Turn your energy and attention towards nurturing yourself in the present moment.

Understanding Spirituality

Nurturing our spirit is essential to Taming our Chew. Many of us have a hard time defining spirituality for ourselves. In December of 1995, a conference called Spirituality and Healing was co-sponsored by Harvard Medical School and The Mind/Body Institute of the Deaconess Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. Spirituality was defined at this assembly as “the belief that we all have meaning and purpose in life and that on a profound level we are all connected.” This may ring true for many of us. However, each of us is unique and thus our perceptions of spirit are as varied as we are. Let me take a moment here to clarify that when I speak of spirituality, I am not referring to religion. Most of us were raised within an organized religion. Many of us chose to stop attending to that religion when we became adults. I am not suggesting a return to religious practice, although for some that may be helpful. I am suggesting that you develop the ability to turn inward and listen to your own voice – that voice which is heard (faintly at first) deep within your core self. To hear this voice, however, you must be still and listen to yourself.

Inspiration from Dr. Denise Lamothe

A few days ago I received an e-mail from a young man who had been struggling with eating problems throughout his life. His had yo-yo dieted for many years before his weight skyrocketed to 495 pounds. He was dianosed with a debilitating, frightening heart condition and this was indeed his wake-up call. He consented to lap band surgery and began educating himself about his self-destructive eating -- looking at the physical, emotional, spocial and spiritual aspects of this frustrating issue. He was kind enough to write and tell me that reading The Taming of the Chew gave him the hope he so desperately needed to begin walking down his own path to a healthier life. He is working now on loving himself, staying in the present, giving up perfectionistic self expectations and being gentle with himself. He is embracing his challenge and he has inspired me! That's why I am sharing him with you!

Enjoy Spring!

Transitions and emotional eating

A difficult time for many of us to approach our eating behaviors in a thoughtful way is when we find ourselves in any kind of transition. Transition means any time of change – any time when there are important decisions to make or conflicting feelings to experience. We may be moving to a new location, beginning a new job, having a child, graduating from or entering school, for example. It is common to feel fearful and overwhelmed when we face change and emotional eating is one way we take care of ourselves during such times. ( By the way, using the Bach remedy Elm can calm your overwhelmed feelings and the Bach Emotional Eating Support Kit can help you regain control and come back into a centered, positive balance.)

Transition also means any movement, growth, or challenge. A woman may be changing her marital status, entering her menopausal years, coping with illness or caring for aging parents or a sick child. Transition can also be as simple as getting in the car to go from one location to another. (Have you ever wondered why you sometimes feel “driven” to binge while you are driving?) So be aware that whenever you are involved in any process of growth and facing change you may be particularly susceptible to emotional overeating and your Chew may seem particularly powerful at that time. As mentioned in The Taming of the Chew, understanding this and realizing that you are not the only one who feels out of control at times can help you turn your attention away from berating yourself and perpetuating your self-destructive behavior. Then you can be more gentle with yourself and begin taking positive, healthy actions on your own behalf.

Overeating and stress

When we are experiencing any stressor, our whole being reacts. Emotions surface and we flood with feelings. We may feel scared at times -- unsafe, helpless, furious, overwhelmed, or sad, to name just a few possible stressful feelings. Sometimes we become depressed or anxious and do not understand why.

As human beings we act and react. Part of us tries to suppress or deny our uncomfortable feelings while another part of us is reacting to situations all around us. There is no one right way to react or to feel in any given situation. When we are experiencing emotions, some that we understand and some that we may not understand, the end result is that we are in distress. So many triggers cause stress and we often turn to unhealthy, old patterns in search of relief. We may seek food for comfort. So many of us do!

This is natural, so please don’t beat yourself up if you have indulged in some extra goodies lately. We learn at a tender age that sugars and carbohydrates will take away our pain. These substances mask themselves as our friends. They urge us to take care of our uncomfortable feelings by stuffing our bellies with creamy pastas, pastries and chocolate. The hard part is that they deliver what they promise. These foods help us in the short term to stuff our feelings deep inside where we don’t have to deal with them.

When the effects of our “anesthetics” wear off, our physical bodies scream for MORE and our emotional selves (which haven’t yet recognized and experienced our emotions) join the chorus and demand more “treats” to continue keeping feelings at bay, soothing emotional eating. Some of us may seek alcohol, sex, gambling or drugs to avoid the complex emotions of everyday life. We Chew Tamer’s may be more likely to prowl the bakery aisle at the grocery store or to use any combination of escape mechanisms.

Remember, your feelings exist for a reason. Each feeling is telling you something. Each is bringing you valuable information about what’s going on around and within you. Listen. Experience your feelings and let yourself feel every high and low that life brings your way. No one ever said that life meant experiencing only pleasant emotions. In fact, we need the difficult ones to appreciate the joyous ones.

If you do choose (and it is a choice, though it may not feel like one at the time) to soothe yourself with food, please don’t beat yourself up when you are done. That NEVER helps! None of us can walk our paths perfectly at all times. We are all human and we all make less than self-loving choices at times. Move beyond the urge to punish yourself. Recall, as mentioned in The Taming of the Chew that there are no mistakes, only lessons. Be as gentle as possible with yourself.

And remind yourself that life flies by. It is a blink of time. Amidst the stress and turmoil, tap into the peace and quiet strength within yourself. Bypass unhealthy choices as often as you can and don’t beat yourself if occasionally you can’t. I also suggest the Bach Emotional Eating Support Kit to help you stay in control, learnthe lessons contained in your mistakes and foster appreciation of your body.

Most importantly, appreciate each moment of this exciting, emotional, and sometimes turbulent journey!

warmest wishes, Dr. Denise

Express yourself

Many of us never learned how to communicate within ourselves or with others. As we practice the skill of attending to our inner being and listening to our feeling messages, we are likely to discover that we want and need to communicate more honestly, clearly, and fully with those around us. This is not easy for many of us. Most of us were taught to be quiet from an early age (Children should be seen and not heard!). If we did dare to speak up we may have been reprimanded, ridiculed or discounted. Our precious thoughts may have been negated and our feelings invalidated. Soon we learned to withhold our true thoughts and to bury our feelings deep inside -- so deep that we may have lost touch with them ourselves. These consequences of our self-expression were painful, and it didn’t take us long to realize and appreciate the soothing relief we could find with a few cookies or a big dish of ice cream.

So now, when it is important for us to speak up as adults we may feel fearful. This is understandable given the ways our communication may have been received in the past. Ask yourself what is your worst fear if you speak up in the particular situation that concerns you. The ask, “is this fear realistic?” What’s the worst thing that could happen? Sometimes knowing what your greatest fear is can dispel the power you have given away in anticipation of a confrontation or rejection. It is easier by far to swallow a brownie than to tell your neighbor you don’t want to care for her child again. But, if you don’t speak up, and she doesn’t happen to be a mind reader, nothing will change and you will likely go on eating an endless supply of sweets, gaining weight, and harboring greater resentment towards her for taking advantage of you and towards yourself for allowing her to. Then you will need more anesthetic sugar fixes to keep that anger and resentment at bay.

So it is vital that you learn to assert yourself and communicate what your wants and needs truly are. You deserve to ask for what you want and to express yourself. Your feelings are no more or less important than anyone else’s. You can always ask for what you need and express all that you wish to express. This earthly life is your experience, and you are responsible for creating the experience you want. Others around you are responsible for creating their own life experiences. You can’t live your life to serve their needs to the exclusion of your own. Nor can you expect others to read your mind, discover what your needs are, and live their lives in service of you. Each of us must make our own choices and create the most positive, joyful life possible.

Here is a simple communication formula that many find helpful to express their thoughts and feelings.
(feeling) (behavior)
I feel___________ when you_____________. For example, “I feel angry when you leave your clothes all over the floor.” To use this formula effectively, you will first need to learn how to recognize and name your feelings. Once you are clear about how you feel, you can then name a specific behavior that you would like to address with the other person. In a perfect world, they might respond to your communication by saying something such as, “Oh, I am sorry. I will now pick up my clothes since I now know you don’t like me to leave them on the floor.” Chances of that happening, however, are slim. Usually you will have to tell them more than once. If they still do not respond to your request, it is time to add to the communication formula and to name a consequence.

(feeling) (behavior)
I feel___________ when you_____________ and if you
(consequence)
continue,_________________.

For example, “I feel angry when you leave your clothes all over the floor and if you continue, I will throw them out the bathroom window.” Now, your consequence must be appropriate to the crime and something you can actually do. Then you must follow through. If you communicate clearly using this technique, people will begin to take you seriously, and you will no longer feel helpless and invisible. Try it and see!

As mentioned in The Taming of the Chew, if you are lacking good communication and assertiveness skills, investigate opportunities in your area for groups or classes where you can learn and practice these essential skills. Knowing how to speak up and to stand up for yourself will empower you, and you will not need food as medication

No will power?

Many people come to see me stating they have no will power and that they feel like failures. Often it is remarked that eating is the one area in which they feel helpless and out of control. They may be successful in business and family life, but when it comes to passing up the cheesecake or potato chips, they feel helpless and weak.

I do not believe in will-power. As I have said in The Taming of the Chew I do believe that people will feed themselves well when they feel good about themselves and are able to genuinely express their emotions to others. Being happy, healthy and whole is not about being thin. It is about being happy with yourself at whatever size you are now. It is about self-acceptance and joy. It is about self-love.

It is necessary to take the focus away from feeling fat and unhappy and change the focus of attention to the positive aspects of ourselves and our lives. It is vital to appreciate what we do have and to let go of the things that are restricting us and holding us back. Only then can we create the lives of balance and joy we so desperately want.

Exciting new book

Todays blog entry is a little different. Rather than share advice or suggestions, I want to alert you to a most valuable resource. The End of Overeating (Rodale) by David Kessler, M.D.
appeared in bookstores in April. I, and my colleagues here, are all very excited about it. It is top notch research and perhaps the first book that will truly help people understand in concrete ways why they overeat and what they can do about it. He does not do much about the emotional eating piece and so his work combined with The Taming of the Chew makes a complete guide to changing frustrating overeating behaviors and healing from the negative effects of these behaviors. Dr Kessler's work is philosophically compatible with the Chew Tamer's approach to overeating issues.

He discusses brain function, sugar, fat and salt addiction, the ways food is processed to guarantee that we will overeat, marketing, portion sizes, some useful techniques to stop overeating and much, much more. It is a cutting edge book and very thoroughly researched. I am now going through the manuscript of my new book to add in some of Dr. Kessler's powerful and useful information. (More news on this to follow)

My new book will include a workbook, share the historical perspective on food abuse via interesting case stories, tackle emotional eating, incorporate a tips booklet at the end, include a list of suggested readings and now will also include Dr. Kesslers findings from his cutting edge research. My Chew Tamers will be the first to know when it is published!

So, for now, I strongly suggest you look into Dr. Kesslers work. It could save your life!

Warmly, Dr. Denise

What will you invent today?

Children are full of energy. They are spirits in little bodies and they are extremely creative.

Just observe a little toddler at play and you will see this. My children enjoyed endless hours of creative play using their imaginations to construct towns, tents and racetracks and to invent all sorts of imaginary activities, games and scenes. I remember Fischer-Price doll houses, fire stations and farms. I particularly remember the day my tiny daughter decided to put her gerbil into her Fischer-Price phone booth. It was a fabulous idea on the surface but she failed to realize that the little animal would protest by plunging its teeth through her finger. She learned a very painful lesson from that but still she forged on undaunted by the experience to create new forms of play.

She didn’t try to make the poor gerbil part of her imaginary play any longer but she continued to be inventive and she recruited other children in the neighborhood to put on plays and shows she directed. I remember wonderful days before television captured children and held them hostage sitting still spellbound and motionless watching the activity outside of themselves instead of delving within their minds to ignite the sparks of their own creativity. That is not to say that there are not benefits to much that we find on our television screens and in our computers but many young children spend too many precious hours of their days watching mindlessly instead of thinking and acting.

I was horrified one day when I took my grandson to the toy store to buy a toy. He had earned the toy and our much anticipated outing was very special. He looked carefully at the many choices on each shelf and picked up a toy here and there to carefully consider which would be the best choice. At one point he held up a particular truck, turned to me and asked, “Grammy, what can this toy do for me?” Instead of wondering what he could do with this toy, he wondered how it would perform and entertain him. I thought this was quite sad.

He was, and still is, a creative, loving child but I’d have preferred that he purchased clay, paints or lots of paper and crayons. I wanted so badly for him to use his imagination and take pride in thinking for himself and constructing his own reality. Do you recall playing as a small child and using your fabulous gift of imagination? A stick could easily become a magic wand or even a gun or a sword. A cardboard box could be a vehicle or tipped on its side, a doll house. It might become a bed for a favorite doll or pet or perhaps a playhouse. There was no limit to its possibilities. What has happened to the sense of inventive and creative play?

As adults we also fail to appreciate out inventive, creative selves and end up doing the same things we've always done in the same ways -- and we often end up, as I wrote about in The Taming of the Chew, eating emotionally because we find our lives boring or disappointing. So, today I challenge you to do something different. Rearrange your schedule or your furniture, paint a picture or take a break and go snowshoeing (that is if you live in snow country as I do... If not, how about a long, relaxing walk in a pastoral setting?). Do something that you normally wouldn't do. Try out a new hairstyle or outfit. Play with your ideas and see what you can come up with. Then go enjoy yourself. That's what life is all about! And, above all else, have fun!

warmly,
Dr. Denise

Oprah's Program and The Taming of the Chew

Oprah, one of the most powerful women in the world, is promoting a holistic program to help us achieve balance and focus on loving ourselves and giving ourselves what we truly desire and deserve. The “weight” issue is not about food; it is about accepting ourselves as we are and committing to take the very best, most loving care of ourselves in every aspect of our lives.

Oprah is now addressing the physical, emotional, social and spiritual reasons why so many of us have spent years feeling frustrated and discouraged and repeatedly regaining weight we have struggled so valiantly to lose. Her holistic program is precisely the program outlined clearly in The Taming of the Chew. Those thousands of you who have read my book already know the information Oprah is communicating. You already know that feeling wonderful and living lives of balance and joy come through our attention to ourselves as we negotiate the twists and turns of our own lives.

I would really love to have Oprah read The Taming of the Chew. I truly believe she would find it to be a valuable asset for herself and helpful in her work as she shares her important messages of total self-care with us, her viewers and readers.

I am writing today to ask for your help. If you are willing and you believe that The Taming of the Chew is indeed a helpful resource, would you please take a minute to send a message to Oprah telling her so? And, if you know others who would be willing to endorse the book, please pass this along.

Thank you so much for your help! I really appreciate it!

You can cut and paste in this message or write a note of your own:

Go to: https://www.oprah.com/plugform.jsp?plugId=220


Dear Oprah,

I am writing to encourage you to read The Taming of the Chew by Dr. Denise Lamothe. It has helped thousands of people as they have faced their own weight challenges. This amazing little book is a holistic guide to understanding and stopping overeating. In it Dr. Denise addresses the physical, emotional, social and spiritual causes of overeating and outlines effective ways to achieve balance and joy – to be happy, healthy and whole. I recommend it highly!

Food Control is Difficult

Food control is difficult for many, if not most of us. At times we may feel possessed by urges to stuff ourselves full of excess calories. We are then listening to the voice of our “Chew”. We all have a “Chew”, also known as our “saboteur”. This is the part of each of us that says, “Go ahead, eat whatever you want. You deserve it! It is OK to dive right into that sugary, carbohydrate-laden snack. Life is tough! Enjoy it all! You can worry about your weight/health tomorrow, or Monday, or next week!” Do any of those messages sound familiar?

Certainly it is fine to indulge now and then. Life is to be enjoyed and so is food. For most of us, however, stopping our eating can be tricky at times. We crave. We overeat. We feel bad about doing it. We admonish ourselves which can lead to more craving and continued overeating and then, no matter how much we put into our mouths, we often don’t feel satiated. (This pattern can lead to serious eating disorders in some cases.)

We are not content because satisfying the “Chew” requires more than candy bars, sodas and pasta. Being truly satiated means attending to all of our needs, not simply our need for food. We have to fuel our bodies regularly to function and must make nutritious choices as often as we can. This does not mean eating perfectly at all times. We also require other things such as adequate rest, plenty of water, a fair amount of exercise, companionship and now and then laughter.

We are not simple or one-dimensional. We are complex beings with multiple needs and we have to nurture our emotional, intellectual and spiritual selves as well as care for our bodies. We may be doing our best to fulfill our physical needs for nourishment, rest sunshine and exercise but we may not be quite as tuned in to providing nourishment to our whole selves. We all have many needs and these are often neglected with today’s emphasis on glamour and perfection. We try to be perfect, to look perfect and to eat perfectly. This is not possible! We cannot do it. Most of us would never expect those around us to behave perfectly at all times, nor would we punish them if they occasionally overindulged.

As mentioned in earlier blogs and The Taming of the Chew, it is the human way to overeat sometimes and, at other times to eat less than our bodies need. It is the striving for perfection that repeatedly gets us into trouble. Because we are human, we set ourselves up to fail if we strive to be perfect. We set this impossible goal, fail to meet our expectations, and end up feeling like failures. We punish ourselves by heading for the nearest “fix” of chocolate, pasta or cookies to help us feel better.
Instead of dieting, bingeing, depriving yourself and beating yourself up, be gentle with yourself. Think of what you truly need and treat yourself with love. As always, I remind you, you are worth i

Welcome to the Chew Tamer's Blog

Welcome! I am thrilled as a professional speaker, author, psychologist and doctor of holistic health, to be writing my first post for the Chew Tamer's Blog. My wish is for this blog to serve as a vehicle for sending you interesting and helpful information about ways to "tame your chew" as addressed in my book, The Taming of the Chew. Many of you already know that your "chew" is another name for your appetite and for many of us our appetites can be out of control at times. We also know that ways we have tried to control our appetites have failed us miserably in the past. Most of us are tired of all the messages we receive about how to look, what to say, how to be and what body size we should strive for. Most of us have yo- yo dieted and we all know now through our personal experience that diets don't work -- in fact they are harmful and cause weight gain.

I am a survivor of multiple eating disorders, and I am committed to helping people who are tired of all the confusing and discouraging messages and want to live lives of balance, radiant health and joy. We all have a desire to be and do all that we can and there are as many paths to attaining that as there are people on earth.

I will use this blog to tell you about new ways to move more smoothly along your particular "Chew Tamer's Journey". I am always discovering new tools and learning of new ways to help you connect with yourself and your spirit and to work WITH your appetite, instead of AGAINST it.

I will notify you of workshops, new products, books and other opportunities for growth and will let you know where I will be speaking and training so you can come and join me! I hope to meet many of you as our paths twist and turn and perhaps someday cross.