What about the children?

We have created a situation that is dangerous for our children. According to a recent article by Dr. Andrew Weil, “Excess weight is the most common health problem facing youngsters, and the number of teens considered overweight has almost tripled in twenty years.” We have more obese children than ever before and that number is increasing rapidly. We hear all too often about overweight children being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (which in the past was found so rarely in children that it was referred to as “adult onset” diabetes). We hear more about
eating disorders -- mostly in girls but in many boys too. Even in grammar school little girls worry about being fat. They already want to diet – to look like fashion models, rock stars or actresses on television. They want to fit in, to be popular and pretty and this starts at a very tender age.
Mothers and fathers fret. They attempt to force their daughters and sons either to eat or to stop eating. Parents plead and threaten and scold. They bargain and beg. As caretakers we want our children to do the “right” things and to develop health-promoting habits. We tell our sons and daughters the right things to do. When they do not act in the ways we have carefully taught them, we get frustrated. Parents try so hard and so often fail.
We can make changes on a moment-to-moment basis based on new information we acquire and we can help our children develop into the most clear, energetic, healthy and loving human beings possible. Their survival and ultimately the survival of our species and our world depends upon this. This may sound melodramatic but we must change the dangerous course that we and our children are on. We must move from the extremes of anorexia and obesity towards balance and health. We and our children can learn to make healthier food choices, to appreciate life, to be more flexible and to trust our inner guidance. We can begin to accept and admire different body shapes and sizes. We can move away from rigid diets and society’s ridiculous obsession with being thin towards more loving, natural, flexible and healthy behaviors
I unequivocally guarantee that I was never even close to being the “perfect” mother. My mother and father were not “perfect” parents either. We each did the best we could at the time based on the knowledge, resources and energy we had. My parents loved me although at times I may not have thought so or appreciated their efforts to guide me. I adored my children even though it may not always have appeared that way to them.
If you would like a free copy of my “Tips to Help The Children” please e-mail me at denise@deniselamothe.com put "tips in the subject line and request a copy. I am happy to send you one. Meanwhile, have a fabulous summer day!
Dr. Denise

April is Emotional Overeating Awareness Month

People often ask me what diet they should go on to lose the most weight in the fastest way. Here is my answer: “Diets actually cause weight gain and for many reasons too numerous to go into here. I suggest you visit http://www.emotionalovereatingawareness.com/ as April is Emotional Overeating Awareness month. There is an article there on emotional eating which may help. I also urge you up for the Chew Tamer's Journey which comes out a few times a year. This has lots of info to help you understand weight issues. Additionally, I suggest you visit my site http://www.deniselamothe.com/ and go to the archive of old newsletters (no charge for any of these resources). Also every week I post on my (really your blog) blog on www.chewtamers.blogspot.com about weight management issues. Then, of course, I suggest you read The Taming of the Chew for an in depth understanding of eating issues from physical, emotional, social and spiritual perspectives. It may sound like a lot but as you look into these resources, you will gain a very different understanding of what you're going through. Also, there is another fantastic resource at http://www.emotionaleatinghelp.org/. If you just try to find the "right" diet, you will always fail. There is so much more to it than that. So, begin educating yourself and soon you will make healthy, permanent changes....”
My very best wishes, Dr. Denise

Be Yourself: Everyone Else is Taken

It does seem to me that more and more people are approaching at a new level of understanding. Despite all the confusing messages about what to eat and how to eat it, people seem to be recognizing some basic “truths”.

First is the fact that diets DO NOT work – in fact they CAUSE weight gain. They do this by enticing us with promises that are unrealistic. They say we will permanently shed pounds by depriving ourselves of food and consequently, fun. Then our bodies scream at us to feed them more because we do not feel satiated. Chances are we have not eaten enough of the foods we require to have the energy and zest we need to meet the demands of each day.

Emotionally we may feel sad and discouraged about how we have deprived ourselves and make up for that by eating double or triple the amounts and eating much more often. We then gain weight back and as each pound tips the scale, our feelings of guilt and shame grow in proportion to our waistlines. Of course, this leads us back to check in the refrigerator or cupboards for some little morsel to “take the edge off” our pain and we stay spinning in this cycle of deprivation…overeating…beating ourselves up… seeking food for comfort …gaining more weight and trying even harder to be “good” (no, “perfect”) dieters. These more fervent attempts to diet and drop 20 pounds in a weekend only reinforce our failure and cause more and more emotional eating and self-deprecating feelings.

It is clear that we do not have to exercise for hours a day at our local gym but that we do need to use our bodies and move them around every day. We can swim, walk, dance, bike, do chair exercises or whatever else pleases us. We can stretch our muscles gently with yoga postures or Tai Chi movements. We can appreciate the many ways our bodies serve us in every moment and stop beating them up or trying to force them into unrealistic shapes and sizes.

We are also beginning to understand the sleep/appetite connection. Much research has proven that lack of sleep causes an excess of ghrelin to be released in our bodies. This hormone causes an increase in appetite. Simultaneously, we slow down our production and release of leptin – the hormone which signals our brains that we are satiated. No wonder those of us who are always tired and dragging ourselves through life are eating our weight in sugar on a regular basis!

Please interpret this information as permission to slow down and to relax more. We live in a high tech, fast paced world where we can never go fast enough. Remember, this increased stress causes the release of cortisol in our bodies and this increases our appetite dramatically... caffeine also causes leaps in our cortisol levels (not to mention its contribution to sleep deprivation). I think people are getting this message.

My hope is that folks are recognizing that life is about a lot more than being thin. Thankfully, being healthy tops the list these days for many of us Chew Tamers. As the obesity epidemic in our country and worldwide grows, I like to think that a parallel movement is underway. This is the time for all of us to work towards greater energy, vibrant health, and body sizes that support our efforts to enjoy the experiences life brings to us every day. We can learn to accept ourselves no matter what size or shape we are at this time. We can find and embrace opportunities for self improvement every day. We are all works in progress moving towards our ideal state of radiant health. And remember, you are never alone. We are all on this journey together!

And, in the meantime, as a bumper sticker I saw once reminded me…”Be yourself! Everyone else is taken!”