Are you trying to be perfect?

As a professional speaker, I have the opportunity to address large audiences about women’s issues. I will joke with my audience members that there are probably no women in the room who expect themselves to be perfect. This usually prompts loud laughter as each woman looks around and they realize that they are the same. Most, if not all, women hold unrealistic expectations of themselves. They would never expect such perfection from others but they continue to set impossibly high goals for themselves.

Setting unrealistic, impossible goals leads to failure – every single time. We are all human and, although it is wise to set challenging goals, it is self-destructive to hold perfection as the only acceptable outcome. If we continually set ourselves up to fail in this way, we can never feel good about ourselves. Instead we will feel discouraged and see ourselves as failures. This leads to self-punishment and often to the bakery or candy aisle. We then eat to soothe ourselves and, as you can see, much of our over-eating is emotional eating.

Some women spend years captured in this loop. They set themselves up to be perfect, fail, feel badly and then eat to feel better. They resolve to perform better in the future. Since they still can’t behave perfectly every minute, they set themselves up to fail again. Then they beat themselves up, eat to feel better, end up feeling worse and this cycle repeats itself again and again.

You do not have to continue to feel like a victim, failing to manage your life. You will be able to change once you understand how and why you have been harming yourself. Stop trying to be perfect. You already are!

What do you love to do?

What do you love to do? What are you passionate about? When was the last time you became totally immersed in an activity? Many of us spend our days simply, mindlessly making it through to the next day and then to the day after that. Then we ask ourselves if this is what life is supposed to be like. Is this really all there is to it? Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about? If that is so then anesthetizing ourselves with sugars and carbohydrates certainly makes sense.

We create our lives. You have most likely heard this many times in the past but perhaps you lost that thought amid the bombardment of every day concerns. What would it mean to you to create your life? When would you begin and how would you proceed? When was the last time you sat in stillness to think about this? Have you ever taken the quiet, reflective time necessary to come to truly know yourself?

If we don’t spend the time and effort to go within, we end up living as robots performing the tasks that we imagine we are supposed to perform. Life can feel empty and meaningless and we soothe our discontented, unfulfilled feelings with substances – food, drugs, alcohol, etc. Perhaps there are more efficient and meaningful ways to conduct our lives.

We have a blueprint of ways to begin. Eat well. Choose live foods that fill our bodies with nourishment. Give our bodies the tender loving care they deserve. Give them lots of pure water, a moderate amount of sunshine, ample rest, exercise and lots of things to smile about. Give your body attention. Get a massage, stretch, breathe, and giggle. Begin to relax and stop taking everything so personally and so seriously.

You are well worth any effort you put into your self-care. As a professional speaker I am often asked what the best ways are to acheive health, happiness and balance. The paragraph above has many suggestions and the best approach is to be gentle with yourself. As I have said again and again, never beat yourself up. Self-punishment will only make everything worse. Instead focus upon what you have done and what you want. positive thoughts will attract more positive thoughts. The time for you to love you is NOW!!!

Welcome to the Chew Tamer's Blog

Welcome! I am thrilled as a professional speaker, author, psychologist and doctor of holistic health, to be writing my first post for the Chew Tamer's Blog. My wish is for this blog to serve as a vehicle for sending you interesting and helpful information about ways to "tame your chew" as addressed in my book, The Taming of the Chew. Many of you already know that your "chew" is another name for your appetite and for many of us our appetites can be out of control at times. We also know that ways we have tried to control our appetites have failed us miserably in the past. Most of us are tired of all the messages we receive about how to look, what to say, how to be and what body size we should strive for. Most of us have yo- yo dieted and we all know now through our personal experience that diets don't work -- in fact they are harmful and cause weight gain.

I am a survivor of multiple eating disorders, and I am committed to helping people who are tired of all the confusing and discouraging messages and want to live lives of balance, radiant health and joy. We all have a desire to be and do all that we can and there are as many paths to attaining that as there are people on earth.

I will use this blog to tell you about new ways to move more smoothly along your particular "Chew Tamer's Journey". I am always discovering new tools and learning of new ways to help you connect with yourself and your spirit and to work WITH your appetite, instead of AGAINST it.

I will notify you of workshops, new products, books and other opportunities for growth and will let you know where I will be speaking and training so you can come and join me! I hope to meet many of you as our paths twist and turn and perhaps someday cross.