Watching the winter Olympics in Vancouver reminds me of how essential it is that we feed ourselves well. We all need this – not just top athletes! Of course, food gives us energy and we need the right amount of the right nutrients for our body to function properly. We require nourishment throughout the day.
Often, however, we fool ourselves into thinking we need to eat when our body actually does not need more food. For example, when we are tired (i.e. when we need to sleep), we might think we need to eat food to energize our body. Although this may be the case at times, such as in a life or death situation, usually, for compulsive eaters, the food is being used to save us from experiencing our feelings. When we feel tired, angry, frustrated, anxious, bored, lonely, unappreciated or afraid, for example, food becomes a quick and easy way to seemingly perk us up and fill the void we are experiencing. It is easier to tear open a bag of chips or pull a chocolate bar out of the candy machine than it is to sit with those painful feelings.
Feelings of hunger are tricky and often have nothing to do with the fueling of our body. Our body doesn’t need excessive amounts of potato chips, chocolate or macaroni and cheese to function optimally, so when we tell ourselves we need them for energy, we are not telling ourselves the truth. Fats, sugar or caffeine may give us a temporary rush of energy – but this is short-lived, and masking discomfort will leave us feeling even more “tired” than before because we are not giving our body the nutrients it really needs to “energize.” So, when we choose sugars, fats or excess carbohydrates we may not be truly, physically hungry -- we are most likely eating for emotional reasons.
Cravings we experience deliver valuable messages to us about what we really feel and what we really need. Our job is to pay attention to these messages and to give ourselves what we really need at the time. Proper rest, a healthful diet, and a peaceful lifestyle give us energy – not junk foods. They may be what our Chew clamors for from time to time, but they are never what we really need.
Nurture yourself this week! warmly, Dr. Denise
Monday, February 15, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
About body image
How do you view your body?
Most of us see our bodies unrealistically. Often we are not even aware of them. We can go through days and weeks never giving a conscious thought to our bodies. It is easy to take them for granted. We don’t always pay attention to how our bodies feel and we don’t view ourselves realistically. Try this: Stand in front of a mirror first thing in the morning before you have eaten anything and look at your body. Now, go eat a bite of something, like a cookie, and come back to the mirror. Do you look different? Does your body look noticeably larger? Most of us will see ourselves as larger than we did just moments before. Intellectually we may know that one small bite of food cannot double our weight in less than a minute, but our perception changes dramatically anyway. This is a clear example of distorted body image and most of us suffer with this to some degree.
We cannot see ourselves objectively. Most of us look at pictures and see only the areas we are unhappy with (and in exaggerated ways). Our hips or bellies may look enormous to us at the time. Later, when we see the same pictures, we may see them differently. This depends upon how we are feeling about ourselves at that time. I often ask women who come to see me to bring in pictures of themselves as children and/or as adolescents. We look at these old photographs together and often women, who thought they were fat at the time, are able to see that they were, in fact, average weight children. For most this is a surprise and, for some, can open the door to looking in the mirror a bit less critically than they have in the past.
How we see ourselves has much to do with how we feel about ourselves. The more we focus on the negative in our lives, the more negatively we will view images of ourselves. It is vital to change negative attitudes into positive ones. Our perceptions of ourselves can be grossly inaccurate and they change as our feelings about ourselves change.
So give yourself a little extra nurturing and see if you don't look just a bit better in that mirror. You may be surprised!
BY THE WAY, YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THIS EXCITING EVENT!
March 7, 2010
90 minute Webinar: This Time I Mean It!
12 PM EST
to register, go to www.thistimeimeanit.com
$24.95 early bird discount
register now and the number to call for the conference will be sent to you
Hope you'll join us. It will be FUN!
Most of us see our bodies unrealistically. Often we are not even aware of them. We can go through days and weeks never giving a conscious thought to our bodies. It is easy to take them for granted. We don’t always pay attention to how our bodies feel and we don’t view ourselves realistically. Try this: Stand in front of a mirror first thing in the morning before you have eaten anything and look at your body. Now, go eat a bite of something, like a cookie, and come back to the mirror. Do you look different? Does your body look noticeably larger? Most of us will see ourselves as larger than we did just moments before. Intellectually we may know that one small bite of food cannot double our weight in less than a minute, but our perception changes dramatically anyway. This is a clear example of distorted body image and most of us suffer with this to some degree.
We cannot see ourselves objectively. Most of us look at pictures and see only the areas we are unhappy with (and in exaggerated ways). Our hips or bellies may look enormous to us at the time. Later, when we see the same pictures, we may see them differently. This depends upon how we are feeling about ourselves at that time. I often ask women who come to see me to bring in pictures of themselves as children and/or as adolescents. We look at these old photographs together and often women, who thought they were fat at the time, are able to see that they were, in fact, average weight children. For most this is a surprise and, for some, can open the door to looking in the mirror a bit less critically than they have in the past.
How we see ourselves has much to do with how we feel about ourselves. The more we focus on the negative in our lives, the more negatively we will view images of ourselves. It is vital to change negative attitudes into positive ones. Our perceptions of ourselves can be grossly inaccurate and they change as our feelings about ourselves change.
So give yourself a little extra nurturing and see if you don't look just a bit better in that mirror. You may be surprised!
BY THE WAY, YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THIS EXCITING EVENT!
March 7, 2010
90 minute Webinar: This Time I Mean It!
12 PM EST
to register, go to www.thistimeimeanit.com
$24.95 early bird discount
register now and the number to call for the conference will be sent to you
Hope you'll join us. It will be FUN!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
From Dr Denise, Emotional Eating Expert -- Food: Reward or Punishment?
Food can be a reward or a punishment! When we were children we were most likely both rewarded and punished with food. Desserts were likely withheld until all of the vegetables had disappeared and you may have been given candy if you behaved. You may have been sent to bed without supper as a punishment or not allowed the ice cream or candy others received because you had been “bad.” For most, if not all of us, there are memories of food being used in these ways. Food is a powerful motivator. Behavior modification programs use candies, for example, to change difficult behaviors in children or in people who are learning impaired. Once the child or adult learns that he or she will receive a candy when they perform a specific behavior, they become motivated to perform that behavior again to receive another treat. It is extremely effective.
We have all been conditioned in this same way to some extent. If we learned as children that food is a reward, we may continue to use it in that way and the deprivation we experience on any diet plan may translate to us as punishment. If food was withheld from us when we were little to keep us in line, we may feel angry now when we experience any hunger. We may rebel against those who punished us then by eating even more now than we really want or need. Begin to notice how often you give yourself a “treat” as a reward. Notice how often you feel deprived and punished at times when you are restricting food.
Taking responsibility for what we put into our mouths means, in part, releasing some of our old beliefs about food. If we can appreciate food as neutral – not good or bad – we can begin making more thoughtful choices. Food is a powerful force in each of our lives. It is hard to untangle our present eating behaviors from the ways we viewed and experienced eating in our childhood years. It is helpful to recognize this and to begin paying attention to the ways you may be using food to reward yourself or how you may be experiencing even mild hunger as a punishment. If you realize your tendencies to do this, you will be less compelled to act on impulse, eat for emotional reasons and you can give yourself time to decide whether you really want to eat or not.
We have all been conditioned in this same way to some extent. If we learned as children that food is a reward, we may continue to use it in that way and the deprivation we experience on any diet plan may translate to us as punishment. If food was withheld from us when we were little to keep us in line, we may feel angry now when we experience any hunger. We may rebel against those who punished us then by eating even more now than we really want or need. Begin to notice how often you give yourself a “treat” as a reward. Notice how often you feel deprived and punished at times when you are restricting food.
Taking responsibility for what we put into our mouths means, in part, releasing some of our old beliefs about food. If we can appreciate food as neutral – not good or bad – we can begin making more thoughtful choices. Food is a powerful force in each of our lives. It is hard to untangle our present eating behaviors from the ways we viewed and experienced eating in our childhood years. It is helpful to recognize this and to begin paying attention to the ways you may be using food to reward yourself or how you may be experiencing even mild hunger as a punishment. If you realize your tendencies to do this, you will be less compelled to act on impulse, eat for emotional reasons and you can give yourself time to decide whether you really want to eat or not.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Dr. Denise, Emotional Eating Expert -- Is it OK to fall off the wagon?
Not only is it OK to "slip" at times but it is beneficial and important to do so.
I find that most of the people I have worked with over the past 25 years hold fast to self-perfectionistic expectations. They often feel like failures if they don't do everything perfectly. Although I believe we are all perfect just as we are, it is impossible to behave perfectly every minute.
If you insist on perfection, you automatically set yourself up to fail. If you break your "diet" for example by eating one cookie you may soon find yourself beating yourself up emotionally and shoveling more cookies in to anesthetize yourself (with sugar and fat) from the feelings of frustration and disappointment you are experiencing. You may feel like a failure and this leads to more hyper eating, resulting in even lower self-esteem and guilt and more cookies.
I often recommend the Bach Emotional Eating Support Kit to my clients. Using this helps improve body image, stop that "out of control" experience and helps them get back on track in a self loving, not restrictive, way. They can then give up the idea of perfection in all areas of their lives, accept themselves as human beings and learn from their "slips."
The heart of the matter is that many people feel that if they behave in a way that conflicts with their idea of perfection then that makes them "bad." They are not "bad." They are simply reacting as all humans do, sometimes doing better than other times. It is essential to learn that there are no mistakes, only lessons and an important lesson here is to give yourself a break. The pressures of trying to be perfect at all times takes a tremendous toll. Life is just too short for that!
I find that most of the people I have worked with over the past 25 years hold fast to self-perfectionistic expectations. They often feel like failures if they don't do everything perfectly. Although I believe we are all perfect just as we are, it is impossible to behave perfectly every minute.
If you insist on perfection, you automatically set yourself up to fail. If you break your "diet" for example by eating one cookie you may soon find yourself beating yourself up emotionally and shoveling more cookies in to anesthetize yourself (with sugar and fat) from the feelings of frustration and disappointment you are experiencing. You may feel like a failure and this leads to more hyper eating, resulting in even lower self-esteem and guilt and more cookies.
I often recommend the Bach Emotional Eating Support Kit to my clients. Using this helps improve body image, stop that "out of control" experience and helps them get back on track in a self loving, not restrictive, way. They can then give up the idea of perfection in all areas of their lives, accept themselves as human beings and learn from their "slips."
The heart of the matter is that many people feel that if they behave in a way that conflicts with their idea of perfection then that makes them "bad." They are not "bad." They are simply reacting as all humans do, sometimes doing better than other times. It is essential to learn that there are no mistakes, only lessons and an important lesson here is to give yourself a break. The pressures of trying to be perfect at all times takes a tremendous toll. Life is just too short for that!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Dr. Denise, Emotional Overeating Expert -- Social reasons to overeat
Another common reason to overeat is connected to social situations we frequently face. It is impossible to be harmonious, balanced and content all the time in such situations or in life in general. If we feel too successful or unsuccessful, for example, we find ourselves off balance and anxious. Anytime things are a little too “good” or a little too “bad” we find ourselves racing to the refrigerator in search of something to help us find emotional balance. We mistakenly think food can provide this for us. It can not. It can only soothe us temporarily. Only we have the power to cope with our own assortment of feelings as we negotiate our way along our own life’s path
All this can be very confusing and discouraging. At times it is hard to keep our needs in the foreground and to nurture ourselves. Even in settings where opportunities to sabotage ourselves abound and our Chew is screaming for “treats,” we do not have to feel helpless and victimized. We don’t have to be emotional eaters! It may be hard for you to believe, but it is possible to feel under control even in the most food-focused situations.
Remind yourself to slow down, breathe and regroup. Take a quiet minute to reaffirm your commitment to yourself and your health. Remember that the goal is to create the most joyful, vibrant life. You can actively pursue that instead of reacting to everyone else and their comments and ideas. Your path is yours alone and no one else’s opinions need to affect you unless you allow them to.
All this can be very confusing and discouraging. At times it is hard to keep our needs in the foreground and to nurture ourselves. Even in settings where opportunities to sabotage ourselves abound and our Chew is screaming for “treats,” we do not have to feel helpless and victimized. We don’t have to be emotional eaters! It may be hard for you to believe, but it is possible to feel under control even in the most food-focused situations.
Remind yourself to slow down, breathe and regroup. Take a quiet minute to reaffirm your commitment to yourself and your health. Remember that the goal is to create the most joyful, vibrant life. You can actively pursue that instead of reacting to everyone else and their comments and ideas. Your path is yours alone and no one else’s opinions need to affect you unless you allow them to.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Denise Lamothe, Emotional Eating Expert -- My New Year's Message to You
Happy New Year to you! If you are like most, you have made your commitment to change your lifestyle and to treat yourself in healthier ways than you have in the past. Perhaps you have the goal of getting rid of those extra pounds. Well, you can do it! But, and it’s a big but (not butt) because we live in a food focused environment.
Have you ever paid attention to how focused our culture is on food? Virtually every occasion we experience has food as a central theme. Think of Thanksgiving without turkey and pumpkin pie or Easter without candy eggs. How about Valentine’s Day with no chocolate, birthdays or weddings with no cake or even meetings without refreshment breaks? How often do we get together with friends without including food? We ask people to meet us for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner. We invite them over for coffee or a drink. When was the last time someone asked you to get together just to spend time enjoying each other’s company? Food is everywhere and a part of nearly every occasion.
It is important for us to ask ourselves these questions. How can we take care of ourselves in this food-oriented culture? How can we socialize with friends, celebrate birthdays, go to fine restaurants and relax about it? How can we manage to enjoy ourselves, eat only some of what is offered and feel satisfied? How can we survive this constant exposure to food? If we eat too much, the result is anxiety and we will want to eat to medicate this feeling. If we eat too little, we feel deprived and set ourselves up to binge later. If we have weight to lose, we feel anxious about that and if we have lost the weight we wanted to lose, we feel anxious that we will gain it back. (Many women report that they find it much harder to maintain weight loss than to lose the weight in the first place.) So we eat because we have not lost weight and we eat because we have lost weight. What a dilemma! At either end of the scale, anxiety lurks and if we don’t know healthy ways to cope with the anxiety, we eat.
Focus your energy on taking gentle care of yourself. Make your resolution to be as self-loving and joyful as possible and do what you love. The rest will be ever so much easier to manage and emotional eating will recede into the background!
Have you ever paid attention to how focused our culture is on food? Virtually every occasion we experience has food as a central theme. Think of Thanksgiving without turkey and pumpkin pie or Easter without candy eggs. How about Valentine’s Day with no chocolate, birthdays or weddings with no cake or even meetings without refreshment breaks? How often do we get together with friends without including food? We ask people to meet us for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner. We invite them over for coffee or a drink. When was the last time someone asked you to get together just to spend time enjoying each other’s company? Food is everywhere and a part of nearly every occasion.
It is important for us to ask ourselves these questions. How can we take care of ourselves in this food-oriented culture? How can we socialize with friends, celebrate birthdays, go to fine restaurants and relax about it? How can we manage to enjoy ourselves, eat only some of what is offered and feel satisfied? How can we survive this constant exposure to food? If we eat too much, the result is anxiety and we will want to eat to medicate this feeling. If we eat too little, we feel deprived and set ourselves up to binge later. If we have weight to lose, we feel anxious about that and if we have lost the weight we wanted to lose, we feel anxious that we will gain it back. (Many women report that they find it much harder to maintain weight loss than to lose the weight in the first place.) So we eat because we have not lost weight and we eat because we have lost weight. What a dilemma! At either end of the scale, anxiety lurks and if we don’t know healthy ways to cope with the anxiety, we eat.
Focus your energy on taking gentle care of yourself. Make your resolution to be as self-loving and joyful as possible and do what you love. The rest will be ever so much easier to manage and emotional eating will recede into the background!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Dr. Denise, Emotional Eating Expert, This Time I Mean It!!!
REMINDER! Please join me!
This Time I Mean It!
2010 is the time to stop doing what you've been doing and start doing something that will actually work!
Do you want to
· Define what success means for you?
· Outline effective ways to achieve your goal of radiant health, balance and perfect weight?
· Understand what makes food control so hard at times and why you always want more?
· Learn what drives you to eat when you know you're not really hungry?
The answers to these questions are different for every person but you can get clarity and direction!
NOW is YOUR chance to sit with three experts who will help you answer these vital questions for yourself!
JOIN DR DENISE and TWO ESTEEMED COLLEAGUES, Rich DiGirolamo and Scott Marcus!
Learn how to finally create the life you desire in 2010,
THIS TIME I MEAN IT
January 3, 2010, 2:00 – 3:30 PM
Click here to learn more and register: www.thistimeimeanit.com/
REGISTER NOW AND SAVE
$20.10 BEFORE January 1st, $27 after.
...And receive three free gifts! WOW!
This Time I Mean It!
2010 is the time to stop doing what you've been doing and start doing something that will actually work!
Do you want to
· Define what success means for you?
· Outline effective ways to achieve your goal of radiant health, balance and perfect weight?
· Understand what makes food control so hard at times and why you always want more?
· Learn what drives you to eat when you know you're not really hungry?
The answers to these questions are different for every person but you can get clarity and direction!
NOW is YOUR chance to sit with three experts who will help you answer these vital questions for yourself!
JOIN DR DENISE and TWO ESTEEMED COLLEAGUES, Rich DiGirolamo and Scott Marcus!
Learn how to finally create the life you desire in 2010,
THIS TIME I MEAN IT
January 3, 2010, 2:00 – 3:30 PM
Click here to learn more and register: www.thistimeimeanit.com/
REGISTER NOW AND SAVE
$20.10 BEFORE January 1st, $27 after.
...And receive three free gifts! WOW!
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