Live in the Present

Operating in the future is as destructive as focusing on the past but in different ways. When you allow yourself to anticipate what the future holds for you, you are likely to either expect problems that may not materialize or to set yourself up with expectations that may not be met. Either way, this is another waste of precious time and energy. A third consequence of thinking too much into the future is the likelihood that you will overwhelm yourself. If you begin, for example, to think of all the things you have to do, the pending workload will seem impossible to cope with. You will be tired before you begin. You may find yourself stuck and shoving chocolate, pasta or cookies into your mouth. Remind yourself to come back from the future into present time.

None of us can operate in present time at every moment. We probably spend 90% of our time in the past or the future. Begin to notice this in your own thought patterns. If you would like to learn more, I highly recommend you read the works of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk who writes beautifully about being mindful and living in the present. The teachings of this gentle man guide us in the art of being in each moment and appreciating fully our experience here on earth. He advises us to focus on the present moment as often as possible, to breathe deeply and to smile.

If we don’t focus on the present and we allow our energy and attention to jump back and forth between past and future, we lose the present. In doing so, we miss opportunities to feel and experience our lives. This behavior keeps us eating, and eating even more, in an effort to feel satisfied and alive. Eating, of course, doesn’t help. If we are out of touch with our feelings and experiences in the present, we will continue the pattern of overeating. We will notice that time is passing by while we are sitting on the side lines observing life instead of living it. When you notice that you are in past or future time, remind yourself to be in the present. The past is gone and the future is not yet here to command your attention. You need all of your energy to be here now.

Set Your Boundaries

What does it mean to set boundaries? I asked professors and peers to explain boundaries but no one told me anything concrete to really clarify the term. So, I observed people who seemed healthy and well-adjusted and I listened carefully to them. I watched other people make themselves and their needs top priority and gradually I began to get some idea of what people meant by “clear, firm boundaries.”

Having boundaries means feeling good about ourselves and setting clear limits with others. It means saying what we really mean and then sticking to it. It means not allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of and expressing our true feelings. It means taking responsibility for ourselves and our feelings and not for everyone else and their feelings. In short, it means being true to ourselves.

This is important for each of us to consider. If we do not understand what “ healthy boundaries” are we will not be able create them and maintain them. If we don’t create and maintain them, we will feel confused, unhappy and anxious and, we are likely to search for food to anesthetize ourselves and soothe our discomfort. Having clear, healthy boundaries is essential to feeling in control of our lives and to eliminating compulsive eating behavior permanently.

Having healthy boundaries means so many things. It means trusting appropriately. It means entering into and building any relationship step by step. Sometimes we may think in black and white terms, either not trusting at all or trusting completely before we really get to know the other person. When we have clear boundaries, we go slowly and move into any relationship paying careful attention to our inner voices. We don’t distrust or fully trust immediately. We become intimate one step at a time, all the while asking ourselves if this is a healthy connection for us to put our energy into

We respect ourselves. We weigh the consequences of our actions and maintain our personal values whether others agree with them or not. We become sexually involved only when we feel comfortable doing so. We say “no” to any advance, touch, sex, gift, food, etc. that we don’t want and we ask another before touching them. We do not take advantage of, or exploit others, in any way. We clearly communicate our wants and our needs and we treat ourselves and others fairly and lovingly.

Being clear means talking to ourselves and others gently, honestly, assertively, respectfully and lovingly. It means staying centered on ourselves and nurturing a positive attitude. It means using our sense of humor and being our own loving, nurturing parent. If we fail to do these things, life is murky and difficult much of the time.

Because women are socialized to be passive, to please others, and to put personal needs aside, being assertive and clear does not come easily. Some have trouble at first just saying the word “no.” Even though it may seem awkward or scary at first, it is crucial to be true to yourself and to set boundaries that feel appropriate and safe for you. If you do not, you will continue to eat your way through the confusing and painful feelings you will experience.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP EMOTIONAL EATING?

In honor of Emotional Overeating Awareness Month, it is valuable to review the following article. April is a fantastic time to think about your own eating patterns. Emotional eating is a lifestyle for many and causes weight gain, frustration, guilt and shame. We may be soothing painful feelings or mindlessly snacking and we become disconnected from physical hunger.

You can manage your stress in other ways -- take a walk, talk with a friend or take a warm bath for example. You must consider your total wellbeing. If you think self-destructive thoughts about your appearance then you are likely enter a loop of negative thinking leading to negative behaviors, increased weight and worries, deprivation, guilt, shame and fear. This can lead to depression, increased anxiety and eventual apathy. You may submerge yourself in unhealthy food to shield yourself from these painful feelings because you know from experience that these substances will reliably provide a few minutes of relief.

You are eating for emotional, not physical, reasons and you set yourself up to fail at meeting your goals. Once you accept yourself and become gentle with yourself, you will make progress toward reaching your ideal weight, vibrant health and balance. Each of you must figure out precisely your own ways to soothe yourself during difficult times. Pause, breathe and substitute positive thoughts to turn your negative thinking around.

Pay close attention to your feelings. As I describe in great detail in my latest book, The Appetite Connection, they represent your internal guidance system (which is never wrong). When you identify what you are feeling you will know what to do. If you make yourself number one and heed the messages your feelings are delivering through this system you will move closer to your goals.

This is your life and your body and emotional eating will never bring you the happiness that you deserve. To be happy, healthy and whole is up to you and the time is NOW!

many blessings! Dr. Denise

Reminder...Don't Miss Dr. Denise's Presentation

We are getting rave reviews on The New beauty Revolution!

We have an amazing week in store for you!
With Nina Price, Dr Denise Lamothe, Camille Leon, Amber Krzys you will dive deep into many ways to nourish and love your body.

See you tomorrow night at 5:00pm for my presentation: In order to overcome emotional eating you first have to understand what it is

http://www.endthedietwar.com/the-new-beauty-revolution/

Click here scroll down to March 13, Dr. Denise Lamothe and press play!
If you can't listen right at 5:00 pm you can listen to The New Beauty Revolutionary recordings later!

And don’t forget! You can arrange private consultations with Dr. Denise Lamothe. Contact her today at denise@deniselamothe.com or 603-493-6043

Many Blessings! Dr. Denise

The New Beauty Revolution

The New Beauty Revolution is here!




Is your body or your Health Stopping you from Living the Life of your Dreams?

Dear Friend,

Do you know the pain around feeling overweight, unhealthy, lethargic, not living your divine purpose, or sabotaging your success?

I want to tell you about “The New Beauty Revolution” Transforming Body Image and Health!

Isn’t time to LOVE your body and unleash the energy you need to live your divine purpose?

Join me and over 16 experts in the field of Health, wellness, self-growth and anti-aging as we discuss powerful questions about how the negative media images have sabotaged our own healthy body image.

The beauty, weight loss, and food industries make millions of dollars by generating low self-esteem in women. This affects how we see our bodies, how we eat, and everything we do.

The New Beauty Revolution is changing the way we view our bodies and our health. We are discovering wholeness is an inside job!

Click here to sign up now to this absolutely free Telesummit!!

It starts March 5th with Best Selling author Marianne Williamson.

Grab your seat NOW!

You don’t want to miss out on this event!

I am so excited to share my talk, Connect with Your Appetite -- Stop Emotional Overeating with you on March 13th

I look forward to seeing you then!

Click here to register-http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1434316

You will discover:
*The real truth on beauty
*Loving your body is like cultivating any other love- relationship
*Top Superfoods for youth, vitality, and wholeness
*How to transform emotional eating
*How to transcend aging and menopause
* Why if you are not healthy you are probably struggling with prosperty

And many more fantastic ideas on health, healing, vitality, anti-aging, and living your divine purpose!

See you at the Revolution!

Blessings! Dr. Denise

Change what you can – accept what you can’t

In Alcoholics Anonymous participants recite a very powerful prayer called The Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Members ask their higher power to help them change the things in their lives they can; to accept those things they cannot change and to have the wisdom to know the difference. Many of us would like to change things in our lives that can be changed but we don’t think we can do it. There are things in our lives that cannot be changed but still we keep beating our heads against the wall stubbornly trying to change those. We do this to ourselves. Why?

Why are we so often discontent? Why do we attempt to do the impossible and then beat ourselves up when we are unsuccessful? Life really doesn’t need to be this hard. Things get easier when we begin to pay attention to what we feel and really listen to the messages our feelings transmit. We know if we feel good we are making the right choices. If we feel bad, we have strayed from the path we want to be walking.

Guide yourself gently back onto your path. In your heart, you (and only you) know the way. warmest wishes, Dr. Denise

It Takes a Little Courage to Stop Overeating

Throughout my life I struggled with anxiety and depression. I went through the gamut of eating disorders, surviving anorexia, seven years of bulimia, followed by binge eating, and extreme obesity. I was all over the map emotionally and physically. I was homeless for a period of time and eventually married and gave birth to three children. Still, I suffered and there was no end in sight to my self- destructive behaviors. I was living my life in service of everybody else and neglecting myself but I didn’t realize this.

I arrived in my adulthood driven to take care of everyone around me. Translated, this meant I needed to control them. If I saw someone failing to do what I thought was best, I would rush to the rescue. I thought I knew what was best for everyone. I was wrong.

One day it occurred to me that taking everyone's pain away and minding other people's business might not actually be my job. If I was spending my time minding other peoples’ business, who was minding mine? No, my job was to respect and love them but also to validate their choices and their feelings. I learned I also had to love, respect, and validate myself. This was a revelation! It seemed remarkable that I could begin to pay attention to myself. A novel and frightening idea! I resisted because I was afraid people wouldn't love me if I wasn't hovering with concern and advice. Again I was wrong.

But how to change?

How could I, a woman with low self-esteem and no confidence in my early twenties, find what I needed to jump-start my way into a different life experience? I was an unhealthy, overweight, overworked young mother of three. How was I going to find the vitality and enthusiasm that I so badly needed for each day? How could I convert a worrier's persona into that of a “warrior”? How could I become brave? It was going to take many steps, mostly forward; but I also needed to know there would be some slipping and sliding backward in the process. I had no idea what to do.

Then I took a big risk. My kick-start and one of the first steps toward my empowerment was learning to ride an off-road motorcycle, something I had always wanted to do. (OK, call me crazy.) I placed my large derriere on top of a very fast motorcycle and challenged myself to become an off-road motorcycle racer. I didn't want to be just a woman riding a bike; I wanted to ride well, fast, and ultimately race. The idea seemed preposterous at the onset, but, as I began to ride–at first very slowly and cautiously–I discovered a whole new me hiding inside. Suddenly the world seemed different. I felt more powerful, more adventurous, and I began to build confidence and value myself more than I imagined possible.

The thought of being on a motorcycle was preposterous at the time. I was extremely overweight, always tired, and often depressed. I was scared and lacked confidence. However, I had this picture in my mind of flying down the woodland trails, weaving from side to side with a big smile on my face as I negotiated the twists and turns of the terrain. Most of the time, it wasn't that easy or romantic. In fact it wasn’t like that at all. My vision certainly did not match reality.

I spent more time on the ground, in the mud, or under my bike than I did on top of it. I had to wear long sleeves and pants to cover my bruises. Then I noticed that each time I rode, I stayed upright a little longer than I had before. I wore tall leather boots, a belt to protect my kidneys, lots of padding, and thick gloves. Eventually, I learned how to cross railroad tracks and logs. Soon I could negotiate deep water holes without falling (at least most of the time). Each trail, power line, or mud hole I encountered presented a new challenge. Racing became a metaphor for my life. Gradually, I was able to apply my new self-confidence to everyday challenges. Of course I still had a long way to go. There were times I was flying along through life with a big smile; at other times, I felt as I did before: stuck in deep mud or upside-down off the trail with my bike on top of me.

As the months and years slid by, I noticed trail-riding was less painful. Focusing on the trail ahead and my performance took my mind off the more difficult aspects of daily life. I began to feel more alive and less anxious and depressed. I became more confident and discovered my progress riding the trail paralleled my progress in life. I noticed I was having more fun–both on and off my motorcycle.

Surely this was about much more than just sitting on a bike! Actually, each ride propelled me into a more positive frame of mind. As my skills on my bike improved, I felt more competent in my role as wife, mother, daughter, and employee. I was more conscious of how I treated my body, and this led to taking better care of my mind and spirit, as well. Please note: I'm not saying this one act of motorcycling provided me with a magic answer or that my path was miraculously transformed into a positive, productive one. I am saying it was a start, a kick start.

Now I feel too old to race. I don’t have the quick reflexes that I had 30 years ago. But the lessons of living my life courageously, keeping myself and my own needs in focus have never faded. I now enjoy my life. Anxiety and depression may creep in around the edges at times, but that is the way life is for any human being and no one can feel fabulous every minute. For the most part however, my life is balanced, healthy and joyful! I wish everyone the same!

Happy New Year and be sure to get your autographed copy of The Appetite Connection. It will help you move into 2012 with renewed vigor and joy!

Many Blessings! Dr. Denise

Please join me on Facebook.